{1}{1}29.970
{636}{767}49 - s4e05 - 4acv02|Leela's Homeworld
{977}{1036}Good news everyone!
{1037}{1120}You all know the orphanarium|where Leela grew up?
{1121}{1175}Sure. We talk about it all the time!
{1176}{1195}Really?
{1196}{1241}No. Burrrn!
{1261}{1444}Well done fellows!|Anyway, said orphanarium has|named Leela orphan of the year!
{1484}{1582}Your parents must be so proud.|Oops sorry!
{1583}{1665}And the good news keeps on coming!
{1666}{1756}Behold my latest invention!
{1870}{1890}Neat!
{2206}{2372}Ta-da! It's a glow in the dark nose|you can wear over your regular|non-glowing nose.
{2373}{2416}Observe.
{2461}{2520}Whoa cool!
{2521}{2586}Yeah, now I can punch|you in the nose in the dark!
{2660}{2714}Where's it gone?
{2756}{2861}Hey Professor what's all this gloop,|glorping out of the machine?
{2862}{2964}That? That's uh...nothing.|Yes, nothing.
{2965}{3060}If you think it's anything|you're a suspicous moron.
{3066}{3121}It looks like toxic waste.
{3156}{3215}And it smells like toxic waste.
{3218}{3251}What does it taste like?
{3286}{3381}Delicious fig pudding!|Ooo that's good!
{3382}{3459}But a distinct aftertaste|of toxic waste.
{3460}{3608}Alright, alright|so it produces a few toxic by-products!
{3609}{3673}You don't have to make|a federal case out of it!
{3674}{3721}I'm afraid I do.
{3746}{3860}I order you dispose of that toxic waste|properly, or bribe me.
{3861}{3920}Either way it'll cost $500.
{3921}{4018}500 real dollars?|That's an outrage!
{4019}{4170}Professor, I'll take care of that waste|for $499 and 100 cents.
{4171}{4295}Hmm, I know that's a rip|but I'll pay for the convenience.
{4296}{4350}Do you take credit cards?
{4351}{4380}Let's find out.
{4488}{4594}Alright environment,|you've met your match!
{5186}{5283}Hey get back in the sewer weirdy.|No mutants on the surface.
{5284}{5339}But he ruined my wedding dress.
{5340}{5438}Honey, that thing was ruined|the minute it went on you!
{5586}{5726}Y'know, it's not easy being an orphan,|not if I have anything to do with it
{5800}{5922}But todays honouree, Turanga Leela,|has really made something of herself
{5952}{6084}I'll never forget the night that|little alien baby was abandoned|on our doorstep,
{6085}{6191}because I have a photographic memory|and I remember every night!
{6725}{6835}What the..?|An alien language.
{6836}{6871}I guess you're an alien.
{6876}{6956}What a beautiful gigantic eye you ha-
{6992}{7070}Well, come on in.
{7117}{7277}From those humble beginnings Leela went on|to become a county certified starship captain.
{7283}{7471}And so it is my pleasure today,|to nail her picture alongside those,|of our most distinguished alumini.
{7721}{7847}Thank you very much.|Like many of you I never knew my parents...
{7847}{7870}Give me a...
{7871}{8086}...I don't know if they were mighty|alien overlords or simply underpaid|alien janitors who fought crime on the side...
{8087}{8106}Picture's up.
{8107}{8143}It's crooked!
{8191}{8376}...In the end though, it doesn't matter|who my parents were.|All that matters is what I learned here,
{8377}{8444}in these unscalable walls,
{8445}{8540}is that I have strength|to make it on my own,
{8541}{8611}just like all of you kids here today.
{8771}{8821}Look at me! I'm Leela!
{8826}{8891}Nuh uh, cos I'm double Leela!
{8992}{9068}That's it Albert,|no more espresso for you.
{9070}{9130}Mind if I get a picture of you|with your picture for the news ma'am?
{9133}{9320}Yes! I mean no!|Just make sure you get my nonchalant side!
{9772}{9850}If those aren't tears|of happiness please stop crying.
{9851}{10008}It's OK Fry, I'm fine,|I won an award today.
{10009}{10161}Is it this room that's making you sad?|It's probably the room.|Come on, lets go for a walk
{10200}{10273}I'm sorry you saw that Fry.
{10274}{10440}I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside|where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.
{10441}{10509}Yeah I do that with my stupidness.
{10510}{10626}I told a whole crowd today|that being an orphan made me strong.
{10633}{10788}But all I really wanted was a mom and dad,|to hold me and stroke my hair|and tell me they loved me.
{10798}{10957}Then today's your lucky day because|I happen to be a holding, stroking, lovin' machine!
{10974}{11005}Also spankin'!
{11022}{11096}That's not even close|to what I had in mind.
{11097}{11185}Well anyway, just remember|that people care about you.
{11186}{11236}I know.
{11251}{11327}Sometimes when I'm lonely,
{11328}{11431}I look up at the sky and|I get this feeling that somewhere,
{11432}{11541}on some unknown planet,|circling a distant star,
{11542}{11642}my parents are there,|looking down on me.
{12050}{12106}Yo yo Bezender! What up?
{12107}{12270}My dumping business is booming.|I just got hired to clean up the set of|{y:i}Free Willy 3.
{12496}{12556}Bender! Cut it out!
{12557}{12711}First of all the sewer mutants will be mad|and second, everything else that is horribly|wrong with what you're doing!
{12746}{12839}Ah, those stupid mutants can't do anything.
{12840}{13074}You seem to be forgetting one simple fact,|namely, I'm up here and|they are safely down -
{13461}{13561}What did I do to deserve this?
{13562}{13676}Behold, our once beautiful|mutigenic sewage lake.
{13677}{13826}The radioactive waste you dumped in it|has made it brighten up to see|how ugly we really are.
{13896}{13971}As if our lives weren't miserable enough already!
{13972}{14016}Tell me about it!
{14017}{14071}Let the punishment commence!
{14072}{14137}- Punishment?|- No fair!|-  Bender's innocent!
{14138}{14291}The instant you touch these mutatious|waters your DNA will be forever altered,
{14292}{14411}turning you into horrible mutants like us.|Especially him!
{14415}{14464}Allow me to demonstrate!
{14794}{14921}It's like that time I peeked|in the kitchen in Imperial Hunan.
{14922}{14975}Submerge the prisoners.
{15082}{15184}Wait. I don't even have DNA.|Why am I screaming?
{15185}{15240}We're gonna beat you afterwards.
{15341}{15435}Mutate! Mutate! Mutate!
{15436}{15482}Turanga Leela!
{15483}{15564}Who said that?|How do you know my real name?
{15727}{15812}What are you doing?|Stop!
{15868}{15895}What happened?
{15896}{15993}I don't know.|I think I saved us somehow.
{15994}{16106}Go after them!|The waters can't mutate us mutants!
{16679}{16732}Quick! In there!
{16924}{16982}Kill! Kill! Kill!
{17206}{17259}Great chichi's ghost!
{17273}{17305}What's this junk?
{17306}{17441}It looks like...|a timeline of my whole life.
{17442}{17531}That's when we saved Earth|from a giant asteroid of garbage.
{17536}{17626}And here's where I dropped out|and bummed around India for a while.
{17631}{17706}And this is just|last year at Space Mardi Gras.
{17718}{17856}Its like some kind of weird|Leela museum...and I'm the Leela!
{17857}{17923}Dude! Over here!
{17956}{18182}It's all the best stuff I ever|flushed down the toilet! Those are some|of my diary pages. And my screenplay!
{18183}{18295}And also - for some reason - the letter|I wrote you full of my personal feelings.
{18296}{18354}Oh I'm scared!
{18355}{18502}My whole life has just been a show|for some perverted mutant!
{18504}{18575}- They must be in here.|- Catch them!
{18576}{18611}And then Bender ran!
{18635}{18732}Leela, freak out later.|We're not finished escaping yet!
{18880}{18930}Got ya!
{18930}{18955}Take this!
{18955}{18993}Au.
{19018}{19107}This time I'm calling|for the death penalty.
{19108}{19202}And not just because I'm running|for re-election as Supreme Mutant.
{19202}{19295}Four more years!|Four more years! 
{19456}{19553}Ah very well.  Your attention.
{19554}{19714}Instead of being tortured to death,|the prisoners shall hereby be expelled|from the sewers and never allowed to return.
{19715}{19890}Oh cruel fate!|Can we really never return|to this dank pit of sewage?!
{19891}{19994}Wait a minute.|Why aren't you gonna kill us anymore?
{19995}{20091}Yeah! What are you chicken?|Buk buk buk bukuk!
{20095}{20193}Shut up you two!|We can kill ourselves when we get home!
{20194}{20342}They'll need transportation to the surface.|Bring in the airship!
{20380}{20498}We constructed it from|old discarded Macys Parade balloons:
{20498}{20730}Underdog's groin, Bart Simpsons's|left ear and right shin,|Garfield's owner Jon's forehead.
{20745}{20826}Fire up the sewer gas!
{21286}{21366}Move it, ya ugly normals!
{21518}{21596}Uh, I'm gettin' dizzy!|I can't walk straight!
{22231}{22345}- Come on Leela you can do it!|- Hurry! We're missing our bus!
{22686}{22835}Whoa! What are you doing?|I'm gettin' on the bus!
{22836}{22910}Don't worry! I'll be fine!
{22956}{23091}They know something about me.|And I've got to find out what.
{23896}{24027}The lake didn't mutate me.|What is going on here??
{24028}{24150}It worked for me. I used to be|a little blonde girl named Virginia.
{24253}{24311}Who the hell are you?
{24312}{24421}No-one.|And watch your language young lady!
{24560}{24654}Stop right there!|I don't want to hurt you.
{24655}{24786}I didn't want you to hurt me either.
{24861}{24995}Leela's going nuts and I can't save her|unless I learn more about her mysterious past.
{24996}{25130}- Isn't there anything else you can tell me?|-  Nah. Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
{25131}{25266}- That's impossible|because my time is worthless!|- Huh. Well there is one thing
{25300}{25455}Its the note I found with Leela the day she|was abandoned. But its written in Alienese,|so no-one on Earth can translate it.
{25480}{25535}Not even Brainzilla.
{25536}{25609}- Hand it over.|-  Sure.
{25610}{25726}I just wish I could be more helpful.|Would you like some dirt on any other orphans?
{25727}{25863}I'm trying to save someone here.|I'll have to come back for those later.
{25940}{25980}Can you translate it?
{25980}{26173}Of course. But only into Beta Crypt 3.|A language so complex, there's even|less chance of understanding it.
{26200}{26315}I didn't ask for a completely|reasonable excuse. I asked you to get busy.
{26316}{26356}Very well.
{26479}{26543}Isn't that the same machine|that makes noses?
{26544}{26621}It can do other things.|Why shouldn't it?
{26727}{26898}Of course even if it is possible to analyse|the message there's no way of knowing|how long it would take.
{26898}{27021}It could take an hour or it could take|a hundred million years.
{27049}{27197}-  Is it done?|- Certainly not! Two dings means it's done.
{27198}{27291}But not like that.|Slightly more rapid.
{27737}{27816}Where did they go?
{27938}{28128}Good news Leela. I landed the contract|for all the spitoons in Little Italy.
{28361}{28452}That's it, it's done!
{28453}{28706}I can't believe it! My mind is boggling.|The analysis of the note|is printing out now.
{29388}{29566}- It's a girl.|- My God! She's beautiful! No extra anythings!
{29641}{29755}- Good people skills.|-  She's completely perfect!
{29756}{30023}In my professional opinion as an ear,|ear, ear, nose and throat doctor,|she is the least mutated mutant ever born.
{30024}{30246}And yet she's cursed to live the horrible|degrading life of a mutant.|Like all of us. Especially him!
{30247}{30305}It's true!
{30306}{30424}Maybe we can do better for her.
{31056}{31388}I made this bracelet so that|in some small way, we'll always be with you.|Even when it doesn't seem like it.|During your entire life for example.
{31389}{31590}You won't pass for human, cutie.|But if my PhD in exo-liguistics|is worth diddly-poop,
{31590}{31900}this note should convince them you're an alien.|And that'll be enough to give you a real life.
{32211}{32355}- She'll never know we're her parents.|-  That's our gift to her.
{32356}{32555}- Better we should die than have her learned|the shameful truth of her origin.|-  I'm with you.
{33416}{33526}- Keep quiet so she doesn't hear us.|- What's there to talk about?
{33534}{33577}Hands up!
{33578}{33608}Tentacles too!
{33609}{33673}Don't say anything stupid Maurice.
{33674}{33733}What is all this?
{33734}{33867}Am I a game to you?|Or some kind of even|more boring Truman Show?
{33868}{34020}Do you belive I'm you Messiah?|Your Mutant Dali Lama?|Stop me if I guess it!
{34021}{34079}- Well actually th -|- Shh!
{34080}{34155}And what about this??
{34271}{34319}How did you get this bracelet?
{34320}{34512}Did you steal it from me when I was a baby?|Or from my parents.|You robbed my parents, didn't you?
{34513}{34612}I bet you sick mutants killed them.
{34613}{34833}My parents were confused aliens|lost on Earth and you killed them!|Is that it?? Admit it!
{34834}{34964}- Yes. We killed them.|- You guessed the truth.
{35006}{35174}Because of you I'll never know|my parents! I'll kill you!
{35175}{35238}That would be best.
{35573}{35650}Thanks Bender!|Don't do it Leela!
{35651}{35756}- They killed my parents!|- Close.
{35846}{35914}They are my parents.
{35916}{36053}- Yes.|- I had the Professor analyse the alienese|letter that was found with you.
{36054}{36085}What does it say?
{36086}{36347}I 'unno. But the analysis showed it was printed|on recycled toilet paper. A squeezably soft paper|that is used mainly in the sewers.
{36348}{36518}- It says, "Your parents love you very much."|- We still do.
{36519}{36629}So, I'm not an alien?|I'm a mutant.
{36630}{36851}- We never wanted you to know.|You deserved a better life.|-  You must despise us.
{36852}{37146}You're my parents.|All I've ever wanted is to know you.|This is the happiest moment of my life.
{37568}{37721}[Pizzicato Five: Baby Love Child]|"When I see you alone|I see what's in your mind"
{37722}{37858}"You love me, yes you do|you don't need to tell me"
{37859}{38000}"I know you love me most|no one else take my place"
{38000}{38165}"You love me, yes you do|forever, and ever"
{38166}{38296}"When we kiss|I see what's in your heart"
{38297}{38434}"You love me, yes you do|you don't need to tell me"
{38435}{38577}"I know you love me most|no one else take my place"
{38578}{38753}"Believe me, you do|forever, and ever"
{38754}{38861}"We are in love|Baby love child"
{38862}{39036}"I take you so high|Groovy love child"
{39037}{39156}"Give me a kiss|Baby love child"
{39156}{39226}"Do it again."